I love my girls. So much. I am very aware of how lucky I am to have them. They are all wonderful, smart, sweet, loving, and healthy (knock wood). Since the littlest one came along I haven't had a whole lot of time for the bigger two. Little-one likes to be held when she is awake and she doesn't nap much during the day. Dinner time used to be spent around the dining room table, as a family, every night. But, baby-girl is always awake during dinner time and she is generally going into her hibernation mode. This means, she starts eating constantly. I think she is trying to stuff herself so she can make it through the night. That pretty much leaves Mommy out of family dinner time. So, now, the girls eat at the kitchen table either by themselves or with their Dad. I'm always in the other room...holding and/or feeding the baby. Sometimes they bring me a plate of cut-up food so I can eat with one hand and hold the baby with the other. Other times I just wait until everyone else is done and, then, Dave can hold the baby and I can eat. There has been a big part of me that has been thinking these past 4 months, "Wow. We are really lucky that the big girls still like the baby-girl so much...because she really is cutting out their time with Mommy".
They do love her, though. So much. So much that they never leave to go to school without coming in to the room to kiss her "good-bye" and tell her that they love her. Mommy sometimes doesn't even get a "good-bye" anymore. I think they kind of forgot about me. It was like I was there, but not available to them, so...kinda' not really there.
Yesterday was a good day. The baby napped during the day and Jamie was home from school. Jamie and I were able to hang-out together and play and do school work and read and even have lunch together. After school, when we got Maddie off the bus, we all headed out to play-park together. The girls had fun, with their Mom, while Colie hung out in her stroller. When we got home Daddy made dinner and then held the baby. I was able to sit down at the table, with the girls, and we had dinner together. It was great. At night, I even sang them songs again. This was another tradition that had gone by the wayside as I was always taking care of the baby...and, frankly, too exhausted by their bedtime to find the energy to move. Dave was in charge of bedtime and songs. I was in charge of baby. But, last night Colie and I went in there and sang them songs together. It was such a great day and the most time all of us girls have spent together in awhile.
This morning Jamie came running to me yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" and she hugged my legs. Maddie gave me kisses "good-bye" and waved at me in the window as she waited for the school bus. It was like they remembered me again! So nice.
And all it took was that little bit of time...for me to remember them again.
I love you girls. So much.